If you thought the galaxy was a dark and dreary place, well think again! With the aid of metamatter produced by their innumerous hens, emperors have colonized hundreds of planets, enslaving and ruling over the people exactly as they did on Earth, that is to say, with very little concern for their well-being...
Approximately at the center of their empires lies two massive dumps in space called the "Great" and "Little Slaughter" which are filled with the remains and droppings of hens along with a multitude of other waste resulting from the intense production of metamatter on a galactic scale. Special vessels have even been designed in order to navigate these unsavory places...
In the coming weeks, we will continue to describe the space around these graves, and give some insights into the most important sectors of each empire. We begin this week with Greater Britain.
The empire of Greater Britain is divided into two distinct areas with very little in common. The main "metropolitan" area is very far from the Earth and the Sun, but has several important industrial and financial sectors sustained by the Greater Britain Galactic Bank (GBGB). Closer to the Sun, but separated from the metropolitan area by the Reefs of Morneplaines and the Celestial Empire, lies the Principalities of Pleasure whose luxuries and many festivities attract wealthy nobles as it does some less scrupulous merchants.
Despite the absence of any reliable data, it is the belief of many that Greater Britain is the most densely populated empire in the galaxy.
Recently annexed to the barony of the Mischievous Triton, Omega III was an unremarkable planet until the impetuous Baron Pinkblossom had a gigantic metamatter henhouse built there. It is said that his daughter, Petunya is of such beauty that even the stars envy her.
Commodore LXIV is an industrial sector known for its warehouse planets where you can buy, at unbelievable prices, all kinds of luxurious merchandise fabricated from metamatter by billions of workers fed on Chicktastic™, which is derived from chicken manure.
Mischievous Triton Nebula
The extreme corrosiveness of the Mischievous Triton Nebula prevents vessels from passing through it and blocks any expansion of the empire of Greater Britain. Emperor Henry VIII has nevertheless made it a barony of which the honorific title was granted to Baron Pinkblossom.
A resort planet well known for the purity of its water and popular with the upper crust of galactic nobility, Honeymoons is the property of the exotic dancer Laetitia Honeymoon whose beauty is equaled only by her thirst for power and wealth. Recently ennobled by Henry of Greater Britain, the "Princess" nevertheless hides a few torments behind her charming smile: a tiny wrinkle seems to have appeared on her pearly forehead!
The Lucky Egg
Created by the Sidereal Space Company with the sole purpose of extracting the maximum quantity of metamatter from the pockets of the lesser nobility, the Lucky Egg is an artificial planet with a gigantic casino and everything that goes with it, from exotic brothels to combat arenas where knights joust on their mechanical mounts.
We'll describe the most noteworthy sectors in the Celestial Empire. Till next time!